Wednesday, September 16, 2009

From Johns Hopkins University: Promoting Good Health in this Flu Season!!

Musicians must especially watch their health in this season of flu. Please note the following valuable information from one of the nation's premier medical research universities.

The Johns Hopkins H1NI glossary for students

(September 14, 2009)

A new disease demands a new dictionary. The Johns Hopkins University Office of Communications and Public Affairs offers these suggestions for campus conversations about the H1N1 pandemic.

Pig: A student ill with suspected or presumed H1N1 flu. (Variation: Piglet: a sick freshman.)

Pig in a blanket: A sick student complying with doctor’s advice to stay home, drink fluids and get plenty of rest.

Pig in a Snuggie: A student complying with doctor’s advice in a blanket with sleeves.

Glazed ham: A pig with fever sweats.

Pig Latin: A sick student’s Classics homework.

Pig pen: A sick student’s room, where he or she stays until 24 hours without fever, off of fever medication.

Pig sty: A sick student’s room before he or she properly disposes of used tissues and cleans doorknobs, desktops, keyboards and other surfaces with virus-killing wipes.

The Farm: Mom and Dad’s house, where pigs who live near campus go to recover rather than sit in the pig pen day after day.

Sleeze: to sneeze properly (into one’s sleeve) when a tissue isn’t handy.

Sloff: to cough properly (into one’s sleeve) when a tissue isn’t handy.

Boar War: An all-out on-campus effort to prevent the spread of H1N1.

Bacon: What a pig experiencing an H1N1 fever feels like, i.e., fried. (Usage: Doctor: “Pig, how are you feeling today?” Pig: “Like bacon, doc.”)

Oink: A pig’s cry to his/her friends for help with deliveries of food (“slop”), class notes, over-the-counter medicine or other necessities to the pig pen.

Pork barrel: Derogatory term for an entire residence hall afflicted with H1N1 (knock on wood that never happens!).

Hog blog: the university’s flu information Web site at

Hog tide: Alcohol-based hand sanitizer.

Hogwash: Washing hands frequently and thoroughly, with either hog tide or plain old soap and water.

The Arnold zniffle: The sound a pig makes just before properly using and disposing of a tissue. [For derivation, see]

Trough: A dining hall, where unsanitary pigs could easily transmit the H1N1 virus if they share drinks, utensils, etc.

Pig tale: The story of the aches and pains a pig experienced while sick with H1N1.

Piggy cold: The name Dean Susan Boswell's daughter uses for H1N1 flu.

Pig puns: H1N1 jokes.

1 comment: